Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
