So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
