do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
