Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize