would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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