I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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