I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
