HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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