we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
