there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
