Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
either way he was missing a nipple.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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