just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
