Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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