So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
