Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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