O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
