I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
