meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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