and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
