Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
