I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
