He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
