Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
