is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
