Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
