We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
