I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
