my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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