You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
