i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
