It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
