Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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