are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
