i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
