So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
