Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
