I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
