this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he fucked my hip out of place.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
