My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize