i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
