Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
