i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I will pee on everything he values.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
