I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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