office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
