Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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