sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
