Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize