you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
