I wanna passion pit in your ass
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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