I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
