But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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