i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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