Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
