He kissed a someone with a penis
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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