so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
