Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
