if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
