omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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