one might say we're banned from that church
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
